Spoken humorous story, accompanied by high speed banjo-picking. An old, tinny recording, which I prob will never redo.
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Story behind the song
It's a funny story (fictional) about a promiscuous drummer.
Lyrics
I was breaking down my drums from a one-night stand our band had played at some mid-western bar,
When the sheriff came in and he walked up to me, and said, "Okay, son. Come on and get in the patrol car.
"We got an underage mother who claims you're the daddy." He spoke in a just-mess-with-me voice.
"Tomorrow you're gonna see a judge or a justice of the peace. And I'm gonna be sure you're here to make the choice."
Next day in court the judge said, "Son, where were you on August 5th last year?"
My memory froze up, and I said, "I don't remember, Sir. I just KNOW I wasn't here!"
The rest of the band could tell I wasn't going to help my case any, so they rose to my defense.
I remember thinking, 'Man, I love these guys', as our guitar player approached the bench.
He said, "Your Honor, sir, you have our drummer pegged right. He's guilty of the charges you make.
"But not here, and not with her, because on August 5th last year, he was being guilty in the next state."
Then I remembered, and I blurted out, "That's right! We was playin' the state fair."
The judge looked at me like he wanted to ring my neck. But he held himself back in his chair.
The band still had some Master Charge stubs from places where we'd taken our show.
By checking the dates we was able to prove our story. But before that judge would let us go... he said,
"I have daughter who was at the fair. Seems she met a drummer there.
"Now I got a 3-month old grandson living in my house. And you two got the same color hair!
"But the law says she was old enough. And she sure don't want no husband who ain't gonna be there.
"So my warning to a drummer is that soon you're gonna learn, there's another meaning for the word 'snare'.
"As much as I hate to do it, case dismissed! Court is adjourned."
Well, I thanked the band as we got into our van. And I said, "Now let's get outta here!"
They all glared at me and said, "Man, seems like you'll do anything to get out of loading up our gear!"
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